Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i dont even know how to be here
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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