I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
