Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
