Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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