You really coming over, don't trick.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
