where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
