covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
