See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize