Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
