You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
no you cant smoke seaweed
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
