I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
