Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
