hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
