Im at strip club and am horny
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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