how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
