turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
