Well douche your snatch and let's go!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
