watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
