I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I am mentally ready for anal.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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