found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
