I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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