my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
