The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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