Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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