I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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