Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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