Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She announced her abortion via fbk
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We smell like vodka and hangover
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
