Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think I sprained my soul last night
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
