i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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