Tell her she can't have a vagina
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
