Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
