we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
