I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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