Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
