i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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