it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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