His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
