I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
