My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
