DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
