And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
