Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
