A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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