people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
