I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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