I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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