I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
