I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
A+ Viking dick
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
