out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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