Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
