i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm too high and old for this...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
