ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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