i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
