He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
