I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
