ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
