11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
