Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
