And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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