i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
