All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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