Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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