Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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