they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
