Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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