Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
