She went from zero to smokin in five shots
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We need to get me chipped asap
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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