Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
you are never too drunk for berry picking
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
