The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
